ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
third nipple confirmed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
