i just had sex bonerless
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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