It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
