And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
