When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
