ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
