Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize