dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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