your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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