We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
