Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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