Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
