im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
