yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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