The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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