its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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