So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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