She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
