sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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