I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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