Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
