You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
