And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
