He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
