I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
