if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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