He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
