dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
