Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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