Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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