ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
