just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize