New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
