I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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