My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
