I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
