I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize