Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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