Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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