check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
