I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
