And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize