tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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