I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
