jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
