I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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