this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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