Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
