my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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