In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
