I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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