he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
