He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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