I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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