just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
