Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
