i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
