Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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