your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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