i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize