You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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