I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
